switchfoot

switchfoot - hello hurricane.

i am in love again. i love switchfoot... 3 out of their last 4 albums (exception being 'oh! gravity' which I thought was mediocre) have been absolute rock star quality

Everyone please listen to Switchfoot - Free. Something about its melody really makes me feel like i am being freed...

I love this line:

There's a hole in the neighborhood where shadows fall
There's a hole in my heart but my hope is not in me at all
I had a dream that my chains were broken , broken, broken open

dark

The most pessimistic, negative, and darkest thing I have heard in my entire life is the quote, "You started dying the moment you were born." Or something along those lines...

Man...that is dark.

random

Everyday is a struggle to love.

I am done with my apps. Or at least a good chunk of them, and I am so relieved.

I think everyone needs to take time to look outside of themselves -- not just some time, a LOT of time.

The best way to avoid ourselves is to focus on others (this is not a good thing) -- whether it be negatively (trash talk, anger, hate) or positive (effusive praise, prayer requests, idolatry).

Accepting ourselves is essentially the same thing as asking ourselves to realize that we suck.

It's easy to ask everyone to make hard decisions when you put yourself in a position where your decision is easy.

No, it's not the truth. It's what you would like for to be the truth - your truth, your version, your angle, your way.

Don't judge too quickly. Don't really judge at all. But don't be a foolish smiley nice guy and call everyone happy people. Discern wisely at all times.

Yes, discerning people is different from judging. How? I think I know, but I am not clear enough to put it in words. Educate me if you are so clear.

I think we all play too much hide-and-seek. What do I mean? I mean that we hide ourselves and look at others too much.

The opposite doesn't exactly work either, but I do think it's better: Seek ourselves and hide others.

I think it's difficult to love people when you can't accept yourself.

Honesty is tougher, because honesty is less and less valued. The value of honesty has to be realized first before honesty takes its bold course.

without love

I need to be more gentle. Slower, warmer, and less edgy around the corners. Sometimes, I look at myself and find myself highly abrasive. I think it's indicative of my insecurities of seeming weak and unable. My heart motive for respect.

Q: How was Jesus so edgy, passionate, and confidently decisive, yet so gentle, approachable and warm?
A: He loved with a love that I cannot even begin to understand

I need to love more, and not try to change conditions and habits of mine. I am who I am, only love can affect me. What is it that 1 Cor. 13 says that I love so much? Without love, everything is just a resounding gong or a clashing of the cymbals? A resounding gong is dull, repetitive, ineffective, without meaning, and I think slightly irritating to always hear. On the other hand, a clashing of the cymbals is highly abrasive, irritating, overbearing, loud, and edgy.

And clearly, the passage was not asking to find a medium between the two, but already presenting that medium by prefacing that statement with.."without love".

I need to love. Not love more, 'cause just loving is hard enough.

Practicing Hate

If I had to do a series of posts on what an evil man I am, this blog would have many more posts. But it is strangely wholly reviving and cathartic for me--so here is post #1.

To box out my office mate (whom I have much trouble loving), I stick in my super hi-fi noise cancelling headphones and scroll to Artist: Tim Keller (aren't I so awesome and righteous?) and listen to a sermon. And then I keep my eyes still, straight ahead, and when he tries to get my attention I pretend I cannot hear or see him. It is an effective box out... until he taps my shoulder.

This has to be hypocrisy at its best. I lock myself in with "Jesus". I sit and want to be loved, feel loved, but the last thing I want to do is love. This isn't even avoiding love; this is how I practice hate, and sadly this is only one of many ways I do it. And sometimes, listening to Tim Keller or whatever Christian smorgashborg it might be, it makes the hating feel okay. What a completely brainwashing crazy thing a pair of noise-cancelling earphones can do.

I have to learn not only to step outside my own comfort zones, but be able to step inside others' comfort zones. Christ stepped out of his form as God, and entered so willingly the realm of sin, and then took the hit to become and die as the sinner.